*

Blood is thicker then water
But I gave you all I had
You drained me completely
Without a second glance.
I was proud to know you,
      to know we shared a name
Now when I hear “you look like them“
I hang my head in shame.
You took what I was
            and made me weak beyond belief…
I was a fighter before you found me
Now          I can’t even recognize my own face
It was us against the world
You are my People
My only kind.
We ruled              the world with grins on our faces
But it came undone with all your lies.
My eyes are open at last,
I can now see what I couldn’t before.
You are what I hate the most:
                 ME

© Sadiya 06-15-08

*

Marked by fury,
Swallowed by insanity,
Drowning in darkness
I am lost in greed.

Obsession secures me,
Possessive qualities keep me from going astray,
My soul is not mine;
My life auctioned away,
Dominated by lies and traitors who have betrayed me.

I hear whispers of my name,
They follow me around…
Their footsteps are soft.
But mine will always be softer.

When they catch on,
Tortured sounds escape my lips
That cannot be heard.
I am binded, caged,
Locked Away
and there was never a way out.

What has become of me?
Was I not once the strongest of warriors,
Howling a fierce war-cry?

Was it not me who saw through a thousand lies,
Or heard the lone wolf-cry,
Or even spoke to your Gods
About saving your lives?

Did I not shout to the Heavens,
and the Angels,
to free all human kind?
Have I not fought the war
To end all wars?

Was I not a soldier
Wielding the weapon of fate,
Fighting against time,
Losing to hate…

Have I not let the enemy
Snatch away my liberty
At the price of yours?

Am I shattered beyond repair?

Who will rescue me now
From the deathwish I made?
Time has slowed like a pendulum swings,
Happiness seems to drift so far away…

I am alone and, yet, I am not.
I had them
when I had nothing else.
We were warriors, friends,
The last humans left alive;
Protecting one another for dear life
With love and heartbreak on our side. Once.

We fought away the fear,
the weakness…
the madness…
But now I am graced with silence.
The silence
I fight endlessly.
The silence,
I fight alone.

© Sadiya
originally written: February 14 2005
updated: October 31 2006
Re-created: October 18 2007

*

Once upon a time
In a far away land,
over misty mountains and
under duny sands…

A land where Kings
Capture beautiful Queen’s,
where Princesses cry
to Princes:
“Rescue me!”

This far-away-land with faerie’s
And elves;
With dragons guarding hidden caves
And knight’s in shining armor
riding to save the day.

Jealous witches who cast evil spells,
Unircorns lending out help.
Saviours come to save a life,
And eerie shadows cast at night!

Once upon a time
Was created in your mind
As you looked out a window
And a straight-jacket bound your kind.

© Sadiya 08-13-07

*

Oh boy I have two finals tomorrow; one in French and one in Religion. The one for French is a listening and through second semester I’ve been acing it with a (ad least) 97% average: yeah, it’s that easy! But, of course, it’s a final exam and who doesn’t get nervous for those things?? BUT the Religion one is the one I’m worried about the most. It’s basically a response to two questions I get to pick out of four. Yeah, yeah it sounds easy but no way in hell it is because my teacher comes up with the most wicked questions ever. It’s intense. And it’s only higher pressure for me because my best-friend is in that class and I need to prove to her that I can be better. The first exam we had I got a 95% where as she got a fucking 100%; and then the second one I got a 100% and so did she, with the exception that my average was higher then hers. Now…this is the exam that proves all. I just HAVE to do better then her, to prove something to myself if not anyone else. She doesn’t understand…I need to get this grade, I need to do better…

And obviously sitting on the computer isn’t going to do anything.

*

Oh, she’s a mess.
Yes, yes,
the laughing girl in the corner,
Yep - she’s an absoloute mess.

It’s a fact -
Don’t you know?
Didn’t you hear?
Well now it’s stated,
Now it’s clear: she’s a mess.

She can’t sleep
Yes, she’ll eat,
She’ll throw it up
Just to be lean.
She’s cutting her wrists,
taking them pills.
Alert the press!
She’s a mess.

You know what she said?
She said it the other day;
I would know,
I was there,
sitting behind her,
playing with her hair:

Well she said it clearly,
Said it aloud:
‘Keep talkin’ your shit,
it’s a huge fuckin’ hit
and
I don’t think my heart’s broke enough, bitch.‘

You’d think that’d be enough
To shut us up!
But she started drinking alcohol
and smoking those cigs -
that information we just had to dig!!

She never slept around
Never did drugs
Never had a boyfriend
Or ever got a hug…
Maybe that’s the reason why she’s fucked up,
a ridiuclous mess.
We’ll never know
Because she just disappeared:
Out of the city,
the country,
the face of the earth;
But her last echoed words were:
“Kids…you missed out.”

© Sadiya 10-08-07

*

Jacobe Myers slinkked, unseen, in the hallway of St. Hart hospital. He said absoloutely nothing, only listened.

A tall doctor spoke in a low tone with a woman dressed in a black fur coat. ‘What can I tell you, Mrs. Bryersun,’ he said with a shrug, ’she died litterally of a broken heart.’

Mrs. Bryersun blinked her red-rimmed eyes a few times. ‘What?’ she croaked. She was already in enough debt as it was; she didn’t need a hospital bill added to her growing problems. She already had three other children and food was in short this year.

‘No illness, no pain and no injury - except for the one attained to her heart, of course. It was cracked in two, we were perplexed, there was nothing we could do - nothing like it!’ the doctor exclaimed, becoming frantic at the new and unsolved case.

Still, Mrs. Bryersun was unconvinced. She sank down in a faded grey chair and wept quietly for her loss. Behind her, the emergency lights began flashing out of control. The doctor sighed and thought about quitting the ghastly business he had gotten himself into. Some days were better then others…

Jacobe Myers, still unseen, breahted in sharply. His first instinct was to help the woman but he felt an essence surrounding him. Slowly he turned around and came face-to-face with his one true love. He smiled sadly as he gazed into her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, baby,’ he muttered.

His love shook her head, her smile still in place. Two white bandages crossing over one another were visible under her hospital gown, right where her heart should have been. ‘It’s alright,’ she whispered. They held hands and walked off into the light.

‘We’ve lost him!’ the doctor shook his head, utterly confused. ‘Two deaths tonight, bless the couple; a real Romeo and Juliet.’

© Sadiya 11-04-07

*

Not all saints are fools
Not all soldiers are heartless
Not every pacifist is a lost cause,
and not every human
is destined to fall…

We are children of war,
Enemies of the state
and machines for the government.
Heaven won’t take us,
Even Hell hates us!
We’re just spirits drifting through life.

We are condemned.
Doomed to wander the earth alone
until some other warcraft
picks us up and
puts us to use again.
We’ve killed.
We’ve hurt.
We’ve loved and we’ve lost.

Now we’re just shadows
haunted by our own past;
Showing that greatness
never lasts.

© Sadiya 11-05-07

*

We keep on rolling
Looking for a seven
We’re taking our chances
By searching for Heaven
We’re the fallen Angels
From the sky
We’ve fought our battles
and already died
But we’ve learned one thing,
that stays in our hearts…
Those gates of Heaven won’t open up.

© Sadiya 10-23-06
ps- if you don’t already know, the number “7″ is considered to
be the number of completion, mainly in Christianity.

*

It’s one of “Those” days when you know you know look AND feel like shit. The world hates you and even the lousy hot-dog vendor with the “bread-in-the-beef” dogs from across the street is giving you dirty looks. You eat a pretezel and the ketchup stains your shirt, your jeans won’t fit and even the guy you’ve liked for ages decides to ask the blond-wad from accounting out to dinner. But worst of all you know you have to wake up the next day and live it all over again. One day, though, you realize it’s going to be one of “Those” days and instead of saying “SHIT!! Uh-oh!” and hiding away you decide to take a stand. On your way out you finger the hot-dog vendor [and feel damn good about it!], eat a pretezel without ketchup [and save a shirt], throw out the old jeans [damn they were tacky anyways!] and flirt with Mike from accounting [the blond-wad's got nothing on him!!]; because on one of “Those” days you present a different cheek and say,

*

Above our land a clamour rages
Struggle echoes through the ages
Up there the scuffle shall never cease
But here below we dwell in peace
Here the tides of time drown our memory
Our somber hell only sets us free
The glow of gems light our earthy rooms
And Dragons guard our pitiful tombs
We sing softly of forgotten tales
Magical Creatures that live in lairs
And lonely Queens who cry for Kings
Of Elves and other mythical things
Heed our warning of danger come
Reclaim thy kingdom in Heaven or Hell
Nothing more can we lost souls offer
We sing the song of the dead.

© Sadiya 11-?-05